cornsaladsurprise:

tomhiddledong:

what the fuck is “”“young money”“” 

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Sara you look awfully young

egg-rolls:

my hobbies include being right and petting other peoples cats

ethan-lawson-wate:

fucking ellen

ethan-lawson-wate:

fucking ellen

gabesaportaspenis:

i think i lost an electron i’d better keep an ion that

voldemortcanyounot:

thebabbagepatch:

fearofpop:

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.

you’ve got to be kidding me

I am in physical pain

marfmellow:

my mom would yell at us and then ask

did I stutter?

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and one day I was feelin’ bold - so I said yes, you did stutter

and her response was 

THEN YOU HEARD ME TWICE

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yongmuneyhateblog:

so I was at the dinner table talking and all of the sudden I started coughing and it lasted like five minutes and everyone stopped talking and was just staring at me. and then when I finished, and all  my mom said was, “are you done dying yet?”

burgrs:

i hope none of u think my blog is my life because i do other things like sometimes i shower

diabolicalcubussisters:

well then WHAT is the point

diabolicalcubussisters:

well then WHAT is the point

estebanjulioricardomontoyadelrosaramirez:

markgatiss:

riddlemetom:

when blogs have the full correctly spelled name of a person or character as the url

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image

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estebanjulioricardomontoyadelrosaramirez, it is actually Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya DE LA Rosa Ramirez. sorry.

last-of-the-american-zombies:

Reasons to be a mermaid;

  1. No pants.
  2. No periods.
  3. Perfect hair.
  4. You can lure men to their death.
  5. Free clam bra.
thedeathecchi:

I WANTED THOSE REPORTS ON MY DESK AN HOUR AGO

thedeathecchi:

I WANTED THOSE REPORTS ON MY DESK AN HOUR AGO